Are Black Women Being Condemned or Just Misrepresented?

I know some, if not most, of black women are feeling condemned in the media and in local capacities around us. They want to know why they're always being the one talked about.

Are black women under attack from the media or just simply misunderstood?


In my humble opinion, black women are not being attacked in the media. They are just under public scrutiny--and for good reason. If you take a look at Basketball WIves, Real Housewives, or Love and Hip Hop it's very obvious why.

I think most black women are only feeling criticized, because what the media exhibits is more than partial certainty about how some black women really represent themselves. We say we’re not loud or obnoxious in public. We deny being full of attitude and demanding. Yet, here are black women on television shows such as Basketball Wives that consistently display those same characteristics. Yes, I realize that these reality shows aren’t really reality (like some say, it's just TV), but at the same time there are black women (and some other ethnicities too) supporting these ridiculous shows and their movements such as the “non-factor” movement presented by Evelyn Lozada. There was nothing classy about that idiom she rudely shouted at Tami Roman, yet there are numerous black women, who are not famous, supporting this chaos by ordering t-shirts and sweatshirts with the catchphrase printed in big bold letters.

So, is the media exposing that classless act, or are you? Think about it.

We can’t be mad if Evelyn or any other Hip Hop girlfriend is choosing to portray themselves that way; especially if we’re going to cheer them on behind closed doors. I know there are plenty of women who are watching the show and laughing at a woman getting beat up or saying, “She gets props for that.” How can we as a race be ashamed of stuff like that if we are silently applauding it?

Yes, it’s entertainment, but let’s be real…these black girls who are watching at home are taking on those characteristics portrayed as if that is the correct way for a black woman to behave. Their insecurities are so low that they think the way to “make it” is to showcase that behavior so they will get noticed and possibly become famous. We can't blame all of this on celebrities on television. We need to blame it on the role models--or lack thereof--in black women's personal lives. in their own neighborhoods.

Why can’t it be like back in the day, where you became a big success because of actual talent? Not getting celebrated for making the best sex tape like Kim Kardashian or taking the best booty picture. Why is it now that we're basing how popular we are off of how women on TV are steadily rising to the top?

This is what black women are battling today. It's not an attack. It's a wake up call.

I don’t believe that women are misunderstood by the media. I think they are misrepresenting themselves. Not all of us nag our men to get married like Chrissy Lampkin, not all of us settle with being a baby mama like Emily, and most definitely not all of us aspire to be video vixens like Kharrine Stefan's or the blond chick on Love and Hip Hop.

Yes, men can be blamed for how women are carrying themselves. A lack of good fathers has caused black women not to recognize when a man should be vetted or not. A lack of good fathers has caused daughters to grow up misguided by their mothers, thinking that the way to “hit it big” is to find a rich man or someone close enough to it. If women don’t have the proper examples of how to become classy, biblical women, who are they learning from?

Yep, you guessed it. They are learning from the media.

It’s now hard for good black women to fit into society’s image because there are too many callous black women who are setting us back. They are judgmental, arrogant, and confused about what it takes to really make it. They are convincing themselves that all it takes is a pair of red bottoms, a man with money, and a couple of photo shoots to rise to the top. What about the women who exhibit the characteristics of Proverbs 31? They clean themselves up and live right because they know that’s the real way to make it. Are these women not “good enough” for society because they don’t wear heels every day or buy the most expensive pack of Remy hair they can find?

I do just fine with my flats, thank you.

If you don’t think real black women who are setting great examples in the home and in the public are the best example, something’s wrong with that picture. And it’s not the media’s fault. It’s yours for not doing something to change it. In order to change the world, we must start with ourselves.

I challenge you who’s reading this, to rise above the mediocrity that we are settling for today. Let’s have an insurgent of wisdom when it comes to how we are revealing ourselves not only in the media, but in our everyday lives at home. It’s time to stop the world from thinking that we are ordinary black women and start convincing them that there is an overflowing abundance of extraordinary black women.

Be inspired, but STAY inspired.